Advice From a Friend

I own several figures that I have in a quartet of cases. I can see them from my bed and I enjoy owning them but I also feel a little immature to have them. Plus, there’s many posters on my wall because I’m renting and can’t pain my walls a nice blue like I want. My thoughts are wondering if that would turn off potential partners. I asked my friend about this, whose been married for a minute and she gave me sage advice.

“There aren’t any big tittied figures or posters so I wouldn’t care. I don’t know about other women.”

I think that that’s the right idea. I could get some anime figures how bad could they be?

…oh.

Mario Games are Socks

The games I’ve chosen to play in the new year are mostly Mario games so far. I played through Super Mario Bros(pictured above where Mario is running into a brick wall before he gets hit by a fireball and falls into lava. He’s seriously about to die), Super Mario Bros. 3, Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door and Super Mario 3D World. It’s been a good time. I’ve enjoyed playing all of these games. Some more than others, the original and 3, I feel are better than 3D world. Having platforming on a 2D plane is much easier than on a 3D plane.

The thing with these games is each one, feels like slipping into a comfortable pair of socks. I greet Mario like an old friend and all of his new friends with joy. They’re just so nice to play, all bright and colorful and calming. Knowing that even after all of this, Mario and Bowser are going to go golfing and go-karting and throw fucking ragers that look more like blood sport than anything else.

The first game I ever finished was a Mario game. When i was given a Super Nintendo way back when and it came with Super Mario World. It was an amazing game I realized recently that I haven’t uncovered all of its secrets. There’s a way to change the whole game so that the turtles are wearing Mario masks.

This is part of not having the internet back then but who would have known you could do this? I thought I was big shit because I discovered the little supply area in the second world that gave you access to all the power-ups.

It’s hard for me to say which is the best Mario game I’ve ever played. I think it has to be the best 3D adaption and use of gameplay. There are only three power-ups and they’re used as much for exploration as to protect and defend Mario. The challenge of the 120 stars that are never that unfair to get also makes the game amazing.

The worst Mario games and I don’t think anyone will fight me on this are the Super Nintendo games Mario is Missing and Mario’s Time Machine. I would be down for Mario to teach me about history and geography if they weren’t so fucking boring.

I think I’m going to continue the Mario train with Luigi’s Mansion. I’ve never played it all the way through and I think that it’s going to be fun. Also, my boy, Luigi, does deserve a mansion.

Random Word Generator: Archive

(I learned this from Paul Robalino on the behind the scenes of Game Changer on Dropout.TV. He talks about using a random word generator and then writing from that word. This time we’re looking into a collection with the word: Archive)

The door swung open and slammed against the wall. The man that entered the room was ruggedly handsome, his hair was salt and pepper, face covered in stubble and wearing a bomber jacket and slacks. He had a pistol on his belt. His name was Jake Blast.

The other occupant was standing at a stove, watching some vegetables sizzle. He was the opposite of his visitor, clean cut, wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He poked at the food with a spatula. His name was Glenn Smart.

“Are you kidding me?” Jake said.

“About what?” Glenn replied his glasses fogging up from the steam.

“That I fought all those nazis, I got through all of those traps and flew halfway around the world for a cookbook.”

“I guess.”

He looked like he wanted to punch something.

“I thought you were an archaeologist. What does it matter that it’s a cookbook? It’s still history,” Glenn said.

“You just… you just hope that you put all the effort in and you hope that it’s going to be something really great.”

“I think it could be great.”

“Is that one of the recipes from the book?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Doesn’t smell great.”

“Yeah, they didn’t have access to certain spices,” Glenn said giving it another stir. “I knew you were coming so I made enough for two. Do you want a plate?”

“Sure,” Jake said.

When the food was done, they sat down and tasted it. They both chewed on it for a long time.

“Kind of bland,” Jake said.

“Truly,” Glenn replied eating another forkful.

“Maybe we just stick this in the archive.”

“Yeah, might as well. Good job though getting it.”

“Maybe the next tomb will be more interesting.”

A New Discovery

For followers of this blog, you know that I love an esoteric interest. You like to crochet owls? Tell me all about it. You know everything about pine resin? Let’s talk for an hour. People’s passions just fascinate me. I wanted to make a youtube series where I go to various conventions and ask people about their interests but my mom told me that that would seem like I was condescending to them. “You like rocks? Why are you such a weirdo?” I might do it anyway.

On Sunday, I discovered something that I had never seen before. Competitive Microsoft Excel. I didn’t know you could turn that into a contest. It’s fascinating to me. It’s turned into an e-sport.

I tried to watch a case that they would do at a competition and I can’t make hide nor hair of it. So, I’m going to not think about getting into this. There are other things that I would love to get into like crocheting but this… this is not going to be something I try. But if you’re into it, please comment and let me know what the hell is going on. I’m still really curious about it.

Update on Pierre

Look at that beautiful boy! So, we’re closing in on me having owned Pierre for three months, which is the tail end of the 3-3-3 method. For those that don’t know it’s:

3 Days to decompress

3 Weeks to learn the routine and settle in

3 Months to feel fully comfortable, bonded and secure

Him being a formal feral, it made me worried that he would never get to know me. We would just be roommates forever and you know that would have been fine. I would keep him safe and he would just be the cat that lived in my house, not a pet. But things have changed since the last time I talked about him.

He’s started hanging out in my room with me. He started rubbing up against my legs when I walked through the house. Because he was willing to touch me, I started reaching down and giving him a pet here and there. He would often zip away from me. But then he started zipping less distance each time. Finally, on Saturday, I gave him a pet and he didn’t move. I pressed my luck and he let me pet him fully. Now, if he’s in the mood, I can pet him and give him scratches. I go by the way he reacts. I don’t force him to be pet. It’s all about consent between the two of us. Such as all things should be.

However, if I sit down somewhere, he won’t let me pet him. I have to be bent at the waist to do so. He also won’t accept churus from me. All in good time.

I love him so much. Not because he lets me pet him just because he exists. He’s sitting near my bed as I write this and I love him so much. My good squeaky boy.

Snow Days

Where I live in New Jersey got hit with a snowstorm yesterday and last night I was told that my job is having a snow day. I feel the exact same joy I did when I was a kid. Except that unlike when I was a child, I’m getting paid for staying home in my pajamas all day.

When I worked in the pharmacy, this would be much different. I worked at a long term pharmacy, which made me into an essential worker. So, no matter the weather, I had to go in. This job was never worth it.

It usually meant that I would have to go to one of the hotels that was in the same corporate park as my job. I would stay over through Saturday so that I could go to work on Monday. Just me, bored in a hotel room, trying not to lose my goddamn mind. Rationing out canned food because they refused to pay for meals for us. It was a miserable existence. This is far superior. It’s nice that they actually care enough about us to let us stay home after this mess.

On Friday, my boss and I were talking about the blizzard of 1996, where the skies dumped 20-30 inches on my hometown. I was ecstatic to have that much snow to play in. I remember digging a tunnel into the snow. It was a lot of fun. At a certain point, my tabby, Killer, came into the tunnel with me. We were hanging out, until I felt something shift. I remember being scared so I pushed Killer out of the hole. It was then that my tunnel collapsed and I was buried in snow. I had a few moments to think about it when a pair of strong arms jammed themselves into the snow and pulled me out.

My father told me he had been watching from the window when he saw the cat fly out of the hole that it was time to come get me. He decided that I had had enough snow for the day and it was time to hang out with him and we watched Dirty Harry. It was a good day and I hope that other kids are going to get a snow day today and to have fun. Those kind of memories are important.

Together, We

Long day, back break

I’m thinking of you as I toil

Maybe you’re thinking of me as you dance

We could be better

We could be worse

But there’s nothing wrong with what we are

Strong arms, I hold you

Strong hands, you heal me

Let us lie together

I’ll kiss your eyelids as you fall asleep

You’ll wake me with a kiss

Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward, the classic that should have been

I’m sure if I was better versed in fantasy I would know that there are several books like this with the same concept. Villains having to do the right thing because the heroes don’t realize they’re dooming the world. But the one I ended up coming across was Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward.

From the cover, you know this book is going to rock. Our concept is simple, a wizard Mizzamir and his band of heroes saved the world by killing a great evil. Mizzamir has also started using his powers to forcefully remove the want to do evil from people. Because of that, nights are growing shorter and lighter. The world is “whiting out” as it were but no one can think that because everything is so much better.

Enter two of our villains Sam and Arcie, a human assassin and depressed dwarf thief, respectively. They get captured and Arcie gives Sam a contract to kill Mizzamir, this motivates Sam to break free and the two of them go on the run. They run into a druid named Kaylana who explains how the world is ending and the way that they can save it, by opening something called the Black Gate. It’ll release evil back into the world and balance it out.

What proceeds is a well written, funny and altogether great story. They encounter a sorceress who just loves being evil but has some real pathos about her, a silent black knight and a centaur bard who doesn’t know much about what’s going on but he is a double agent for the heroes.

It’s just such a bummer that this book didn’t get off the ground and become a series or that Eve didn’t write more than three books(I just found this out, I never actually looked it up until now). Because she’s an excellent writer. The book flows with wonderful character moments, it’s funny(there’s a moment where they encounter a village of Smurflike creatures and do what we all want to do and cuts a tree down so that they get crushed) and she utilizes the concept to its utmost. Just because evil is gone doesn’t mean people are better. And shows that forcing people to change isn’t this great and good thing. That there is a truly horrific cost for all of it. And just because “evil” is gone, doesn’t mean that people are better. There’s an exceptionally well written scene where Sam is out and about at night and hears a woman being sexually assaulted, which he steps in to save her from. This could easily just be a save the cat moment but it then rolls into Sam discovering a power that becomes a major plot point.

Mizzamir is a great villain because he’s not over the top but he’s so sure that he’s right. He looks upon the villains with pity that reeks of hypocrisy and snobbiness. The rest of his crew are more overtly antagonistic towards the villains and seek to harm them. They make for two distinct and interesting antagonists that feel like viable threats.

My main complaint honestly is that some things are not delved into as much as I would like. My sister has told me that she doesn’t need things like that and that it’s a personal issue of mine. Maybe it is but if the main complaint I have for a book is that I want more of it, then it’s something special.

It’s available on kindle and audible so read it if you can. A paperback version will run you about 86 bucks because it was only a first pressing. I got it for about forty back in 2004. I don’t regret spending that at all. Read it and enjoy it my friends.